Coping with High Expectations, Homesickness, and Self-Doubt: A Reflection by International Student Itisha Adukia
In the life of an international student, juggling high expectations, homesickness, and self-doubt can be a daily struggle. I recently had a conversation with my mother, the lifeline connecting me to my family as an international student. She inquired about my experiences during my placement, whether I had managed to run errands like grocery shopping, and if I had the opportunity to interact with patients. She proudly shared how the entire family celebrated my entry into medical school, marking me as the first in our family to achieve this feat.
Despite the encouraging words and praise, all I could think about was the mounting workload that lay ahead. Exam preparations loomed large, and I felt ill-prepared, uncertain where to even start. To protect my mother from unnecessary concern, I sidestepped my doubts and expressed gratitude for her support and pride.
This conversation continued to gnaw at me for weeks. It seemed I was not meeting the standards set by my parents.
Medicine students are often placed on a pedestal from the moment they step into medical school. Expectations come from all sides – family, friends, and the academic institution itself. From the very beginning, you’re subjected to rigorous evaluation, not just professionally but academically.
But what happens when you feel incapable of meeting these expectations? How does it affect your self-esteem, academic performance, and your ability to interact with peers and patients? The daily lives of many medical students are marred by self-doubt and insecurity, often manifesting as the infamous ‘imposter syndrome,’ a common issue among high-achievers in the field.
As an international student and the first in my family to pursue medicine, these emotions are a constant companion. There’s an overwhelming sense of pressure to excel, both externally and self-imposed. I’ve learned to confront these feelings and question their validity. Is my self-doubt based on fact, or am I simply on a learning curve?
Living far away from home compounds the challenges. Homesickness is a significant distraction from my studies and work. I often feel I should be with my family, and the geographic distance between us can make my educational journey seem almost surreal.
However, I’ve come to realize that being so far from home can be a testament to my capabilities and potential. True achievements extend beyond the academic sphere.
Moving into the fourth year brings new challenges. It’s a phase where you transition from being under the guidance of junior doctors to dealing with patients independently. At first, it’s manageable, but as patients present with complex and unique cases, you may find yourself grappling with self-doubt. You might forget the basics, like the famous SOCRATES acronym for medical history. This can lead to a sense of incompetence, making you shy away from engaging with patients who might have ailments you don’t fully understand yet.
In the end, I discovered that the key to overcoming self-doubt is visualizing my journey and setting goals. I created a calendar to chart my study progress, providing a tangible reminder that time is not running out and that every topic I need to cover is achievable.
Imposter syndrome is a more common affliction than we might think, affecting even the most accomplished and optimistic individuals. As medics, there are strategies to combat self-doubt. I’ve made a habit of identifying my feelings and critically assessing whether they are based on fact or anxiety. I also keep a record of my achievements and compliments from peers to remind myself of my strengths.
No one is perfect, not even the most seasoned consultant. Acknowledging these feelings and using them as motivation to be the best version of yourself is key.
Advice from Dr. Ellie Mein, a medico-legal adviser, emphasizes the importance of recognizing and addressing imposter syndrome, a common issue among new and training doctors. To combat these feelings, she recommends celebrating successes, avoiding constant comparison to others, and engaging in thoughtful reflection to enhance professional development.
In the end, whether you’re an international student or a seasoned professional, dealing with high expectations and self-doubt is a shared experience. It’s how we confront and manage these challenges that defines our journey towards success in the medical field.
- : public
